We have a Saturday Stories first to share with you this week — a second article from a past Saturday Stories writer! About a month ago, Meredith from the blog New Twist, After All These Years, shared with us how domestic discipline enhanced her already strong and well-established marriage. You can read her first post here, and we encourage you to do so. It’s a very inspiring and heart-warming story.
Meredith contacted us shortly after her post went up requesting if she could continue on with her story with a second article. She feels her stories will connect with “older couples” (her words, not ours), and will help to show them that even after many years of happiness in marriage, there are still ways to grow and strengthen the emotional bond between one another. We think she’s absolutely right, and we’re honored to be sharing another one of her stories with you today.
We also want to say this since it’s so rare to see — Without trying to embarrass Meredith, she has offered one of the kindest and most sincere gestures anyone has ever offered us in our time as domestic discipline bloggers. She has one of the biggest hearts in blogland, and that’s saying a lot considering all of the incredible people that contribute to this community. Thank you, Meredith, for your wonderful gesture. You know what it was/is, and we can’t express our appreciation enough. It was such a thoughtful thing to do and we don’t think you understand how much it truly meant to our family. Thank you so very much.
If you’d like to write a Saturday Story to be featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about doing so here, or you can email your submission to guestpost@learningdd.com.
The following article was written entirely by Meredith. We have not manipulated, edited, or added to her words in any way, shape, form, or fashion. We did, however, add the links in the appropriate spots (hope you don’t mind, Meredith).
—————————————————————————-
Hello, LDD Readers,
This is Meredith and I wanted to share how things are going for my husband Jack and me as we make our way in LDD. In early July, I wrote about the discovery of Clint and Chelsea’s blog while on a sun break in April. After sharing what I found, I made a presentation to my husband. The Dd road for us has been bumpy and includes the purchase of a new paddle which my hubby loves……… me, not so much!
I began a blog and invite you to read about our journey as it changes our marriage for the better. I still consider myself very new to blogging. The best thing about my blog is the two new friends I have made. We email one another and rejoice in having found each other. Each of us is practicing ttwd in a different way, but we support one another as we all make our way.
Almost four months into domestic discipline, we are still doing just that, learning! Our way is still evolving. Jack has taken to his role like a duck to water. I am always amazed when he talks to me about all this. He told me this morning that he really believes that men want to take care of things and women need to let them. After so many years of doing this “taking care of things” together, I still have a difficult time letting go. We do not have the worries and heartache of many couples. We have no money worries and have always been faithful to our marriage vows taken long, long ago. Back then, we even removed the word “obey” from our vows preferring to enter marriage as equal partners. Our marriage was strong before we began Dd and we consider it stronger now. Domestic discipline requires communication. We talk and listen more carefully. If we ever renew our vows, the word obey will be said by me!
We have one rule: respect. This is a very easy rule to follow, but I break it often. The breaking of this rule reminds me of the movie Groundhog’s Day. Over and over again, I break the respect rule and Jack is always there to correct me. He assumes his role with ease and confidence. Respect is about so many things: the Golden Rule, speaking kindly, calling when running late, knowing when to stop arguing, and on and on. I have a more difficult time blending my submissive world with Jack and my assertive role in the greater world. This is the arena when I have difficulties and Jack has the paddle. We are really trying to work this out, but that usually happens to my backside.
Things are improving, but gradually. I am doing better at home. Speaking kindly, I talk to Jack with a kinder tone. I try to keep from interrupting, but this is still hard for me to do consistently. Submission in the bigger world when we are with friends can be rough. Jack says that I revert back to my sassy self and he doesn’t like it. I am finding my way here and that often means time spent with friends ends with a spanking once we are home. He wants me to be more attentive, more mindful of what I am saying. I do struggle with changing my ways when we are not at home.
I still struggle with his authority. When Jack has decided that a spanking is necessary, I try my hardest to talk him out of it. Second chance, verbal apology, orchestrating what implement is to be used all have been tried unsuccessfully. This kind of spanking has been done about five times since we began. I am learning to accept his authority in all things, but especially when he decides to spank. My goal is to accept his decision without negotiating. To accept that I have stumbled and not argue are essential to making this work. I need to know when the argument has ended. If I have trouble accepting his decision, my bottom feels it. This is where the road gets bumpy for us at times.
We now incorporate stress relief spankings. We entertain in our home and enjoy big dinner parties. Once the party is in full swing, I do well. Before the guests arrive, I am a barking mess giving orders and mouthing off. Jack has settled me right down and he even rubs my backside as we pass one another while guests are enjoying wine before dinner. The last time we entertained, timing wasn’t great as guests were arriving as the last spank was given to my backside. I was calm and collected as we welcomed our guests. I wonder why we didn’t do this long ago.
We belong to a golf club and attend social functions. At a cocktail party before dinner one evening, the women were all talking about the flap over the internet articles about domestic discipline and the husbands who spanked wives matter. Mainstream media was having a field day and several of my favorite bloggers closed their blogs as a result. The cocktail party discussion reminded me of Chelsea’s sharing about the domestic discipline discussion with her son’s play group parents. I stood on the fringe listening. All the emotions were there. What wife would allow her husband to spank her? How could that be happening? No wife would let her husband do that. I took a sip of wine and stepped forward. I said many marriages would be strengthened by domestic discipline and some wives are so bossy. They cut the authority of their husbands. Many wives just plain need spanking. All eyes looked at me, and I could not believe what had come out of my mouth. Total silence next! One woman asked if I was one of those wives, and I said that I was available for private conversations on the subject. I turned and walked over to Jack. He put his arm around me and his hand rested on my bottom. Two wives emailed and I said they might want to read a particular blog written by a certain husband and wife. The blog offered insight as to the benefits of domestic discipline. To be honest, I do not see this group of women often, but I was not about to stand for any put-downs on the subject of domestic discipline. I guess age has its privileges. I told them what I thought and felt true to who we are.
The love that we share has always been great, but now it is over the top. We are touching more, search for one another at home throughout the day. Making love involves playful spankings. Aftercare after a spanking is mighty sweet. I cried when the spanking is over. Jack holds me and we talk about the ways to do better. He is steady and consistent and really “taking care of things” as he believed men want to do. I am the one who flounders. I am the one who has the hard time changing from the independent person I was during his military deployments to a more submissive wife now. He is right there to help me!
We have rediscovered the safety of talking in the car. When we were dating, the car was our place for privacy and talking. Jack proposed to me in the car. The car was our safe haven. When Dd entered our lives, the car became important again. We had big discussions about spankings and how this would work while we were on the road. Eyes forward, my hand on his leg, he talked quietly and gently. We asked one another questions, lots of questions. He answered my questions firmly, confidently. I answered his questions shyly and in a hushed voice. Incredible……….. this is my husband of over 30 years. He is saying yes to doing this. Actually I was so excited that he would agree to give this a try. All on the ride to I do not remember where! I just wanted the ride to continue. And it has……….. we are enjoying this ride. Humorously, when I asked him if he wanted to read Dd blogs, he said he did not need instruction on spanking his wife. He knew how to do that quite well.
The best part of domestic discipline is what has happened emotionally between this long time married couple. This new way has made us loving, more loving than ever before. Our marriage is energized. We are touching, hugging, playfully spanking and making more love than ever before. Why? Because my Jack is taking the lead. He is the boss. It feels right and the way it should be. In bed, in the car, after a spanking, in every way! Four months in, we are amazed and quite dumbfounded at the way our marriage has been enriched because my husband is leading. We are not young marrieds. We are old married folk and we are grateful to the Learning Domestic Discipline authors. It has made a difference in our lives in a big way.
I am the happiest I have ever been even with the Dd bumps and the purchase of the new paddle. We are not kids and this is the delicious time of life: early retirement, visiting grandchildren, lots of travel, golf and no money worries. Our marriage was strong, and now it is even stronger although a little sorer. I will check back in three months to tell you how things are going. Wish us well. I wish you and your spouse the very best as you make your way in domestic discipline.
—————————————————————————-
Wow, very brave of you to speak up at your cocktail party, Meredith! We know it isn’t always easy to stand up for this lifestyle, but it’s so great to hear that you had the courage to do just that. When you experience and feel all the benefits that you’ve described in your story from living the lifestyle, it’s hard to sit back and let those that may not fully understand it tear it down. We applaud you for standing up for what you believe in. It sounds like you and Jack are doing great in the lifestyle, and we couldn’t be happier for you.
Once again, Meredith’s blog is New Twist, After All These Years if you’d like to follow her story.
If you’d like to submit a Saturday Story to be featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about doing so here, or you can submit your article to guestpost@learningdd.com. We look forward to featuring your work!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
The post Saturday Stories: “We Are Making Our Way…Learning, Happy, and Sometimes a Little Sore” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.