We’re so thrilled to have Eric back again this week to share the next installment in his guest post column titled “The First Punishment”. Eric’s wife, Amy, adds her thoughts as well making this a guest post you won’t want to miss if you’re in an FLR/wife-led relationship or considering one.
If you missed Eric’s post last week, you can check it out here.
[heading style=”1″]The First Punishment[/heading]
It was no secret that incorporating consequences into our relationship was much easier said than done. After Amy and I agreed that grounding would be used as the primary consequence and spanking would be a back-up, things went a little more smoothly. Having a plan or a framework to this lifestyle really seemed to help us both.
The night that Amy and I sat down and agreed on the framework for the consequences came on the heels of a rough conversation a few weeks prior where I insisted that grounding not be included at all, and Amy insisted that spanking not be included at all. We were at odds, and I let my stubborn behavior get the best of me. My attitude wasn’t right, and I knew it later on but at the time I had resorted to my “old ways” of trying to trump what she decided on, and using my attitude in a way that subconsciously made her feel disrespected.
As I mentioned in my previous post, after our consequence conversation that went terribly wrong we decided to put the talks on hold. When we finally resumed the discussion Amy had a much more take charge attitude and, in turn, that made me back down and reevaluate my attitude. We were able to decide together, with much better attitudes, that grounding would be the primary consequence with spanking being a back-up. Amy was more comfortable with with grounding, and I didn’t blame her.
Shortly after that conversation occurred we were laying in bed together when Amy announced that she felt my attitude about this topic was not what she was expecting considering our new relationship choice, and I couldn’t help but agree. I hadn’t treated her right in the previous talk we had, and although I’d apologized, she felt this was a good time to try out our new lifestyle. I obliged, hoping that the grounding but wouldn’t be too severe.
When she ordered me to lay over a few pillows she was placing in the center of our bed I was stunned. I knew this was out of her comfort zone. She had made that clear. But this was starting to become out of mine as well. Her lecture was stern, intense, and I saw a side of my wife I had never seen before, but a side that I loved and made me vow to cherish her even more.
The spanking was short but hard, and over in a flash. She used the backside of her plastic hairbrush, probably because it was the nearest thing in sight. The first few spanks were unlike anything I’d ever experienced, and by time the end rolled around (about 20 swats later) I had a new found respect for Amy, not only for going through with something like that, but for taking charge, initiative, and really putting this lifestyle into effect.
That spanking did two things for me. It really solidified our female-led marriage, and it also made me see my wife in a different light. Weeks went by before the hairbrush was taken out again, and that time Amy seemed much more comfortable with spanking which was not great news for my backside.
From Amy: Eric and I’s marriage has been a journey, with domestic discipline being a significant milestone for us. Domestic discipline has showed us a lot about each other in both good and bad ways, but has strengthened our marriage in so many ways that I never thought were possible.
The idea of spanking Eric, who I always looked to as the leader, was far-fetched and sounded silly to me at the time. I never pictured myself doing it for anything other than some mild erotic foreplay, but looking back at the course of our marriage there were so many times where I wish I had.
The night I decided to spank Eric came on a whim when I thought to myself, “if I don’t try this now, I might never”. I was having second doubts about domestic discipline, but after deciding to go through with the punishment and seeing the results I’m really glad I did. It made the doubts melt away and in place was a husband that was respectful, obedient, and loving which are things that are very important to me.
We look forward to sharing more next time.
Eric & Amy
—————-
Thanks Eric and Amy!
We’ll be back tomorrow for a new Five Things Friday post with a special retreat announcement!
The post Learning Domestic Discipline Guest Post Columns – Eric {Week 3} appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline.