We’re excited to get our Saturday Stories column back on track this week with an excellent article from a newcomer to the domestic discipline lifestyle, Meredith, from the blog New Twist, After All These Years.  If you haven’t gotten the chance to do so yet, pay her blog a visit and give her a nice warm welcome.

  If you’re new to the site, every other Saturday we feature guest posts written by those in the lifestyle and/or the domestic discipline blogging community.  It gives others a chance to tell their stories, and illustrates how truly unique the domestic discipline lifestyle is for everyone that lives it.

  If you’d like to write and submit an article to be featured on LDD’s Saturday Stories column, you can read more about doing so here, or you can email your submission to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We’d love to hear your story and feature your article on the LDD blog!

  The following article was written entirely by Meredith.  We have not manipulated, edited, or added to her words in any way, shape, form, or fashion.

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  Changing a marriage that has worked well for many years is gutsy. Here is how we changed our marriage, what we are experiencing and why I am so happy especially after all these years. 

  When living in the Pacific Northwest, a week away in sunny, warm Palm Springs is heaven. A lovely pool and wifi set the stage for a restful, calm week. That is until I accidentally found the Learning Domestic Discipline site. That was in April, and only recently have I come up for air. Reading and research have taken a lot of my time. This site and all the blogs have kept me decidedly out of the sunshine. While in Palm Springs, my sweet husband thought I was reading interior design blogs! 

  Our entry into this lifestyle is probably like yours. However, we have been married a very long, long time. There in lies the difference. Our story tells what happens when domestic discipline makes an entrance into a marriage like ours. 

  We married after college, but were high school sweethearts. We have always been loving and supportive of one another. My husband is the steady, calm one and I am the feisty, sassy one. We toyed with spanking in the early married years, but family and life took us away from spanking. We faced career changes, babies and deployments. We were a team and were often dumbfounded when our marriage had smooth sailing while those of our friends floundered and dissolved. Anniversary after anniversary found us together and we are looking forward to retirement. Enter the Palm Springs sun break!

  Once home, I prepared as if I were a student preparing a power point presentation. Why was I so nervous? Why was I so uneasy about telling him what I wanted? Like many of you, I faced my husband and began “The Talk”. He listened thoughtfully and asked many questions. Would he really want to change a relationship that has already proven steady and worthy? 

  My husband said yes! We would do ttwd our own way. We would have no list of rules. We had already lived through the rocky years when money was tight and life busy. We knew that our marriage was in fine working order. We were looking to make it better. We  would do maintenance and reset spankings when I was feisty. Disrespect would learn a spanking and then he bought the wooden spoon. Funny though, as a young bride, I have a crock full of wooden spoons in my newlywed kitchen, but did not own any nearing retirement.

  Everything was in place and I told myself that when the time came to be spanked, I would cooperate and be submissive. A rainy afternoon in the Pacific Northwest is common, but what happened in our bedroom was not. The first spanking happened and I was submissive. Spanking for disrespect has happened several times. We are new at this. Aside from a stinging bottom, something really amazing is happening. Arguments are short lived. I think about what I am going to say before I blurt out something rude. We do not bark at one another. I feel a closeness and respect my husband in ways I never anticipated. Is domestic discipline responsible for changing a long, loving marriage? The answer is yes. Since making my presentation, we have been loving and enjoying one another’s company in a way that I did not think possible. My bottom has been paddled. He asks if I am calm before we are finished. He knows what he is doing and I am grateful and in love all over again.  A solid marriage has been changed for the better. I lean on my husband in our partnership and he guides us to more anniversaries in years to come. Not just for the young, domestic discipline is for the young at heart as well.

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  As Meredith has illustrated, it’s never too late to incorporate domestic discipline into your relationship/marriage.  Even strong marriages have room to grow, and domestic discipline may be the avenue in which to achieve that growth.  Thank you so much for this wonderful piece, Meredith.  You did a great job!  Welcome to a domestic discipline marriage, and congratulations on getting started with it!  We wish you and your husband many more years of happiness and harmony.

Meredith’s blog is New Twist, After All These Years if you’d like to follow along with her story.

  Once again, if you’d like to write an article to be featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about it here, or you can send your submission(s) via email to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We look forward to featuring your work!

The post Saturday Stories: “The Sun Break That Changed Our Marriage” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.

The Saturday Stories column on the LDD blog usually features a domestic discipline article written by you, the reader, every other week.  This week, however, we’re changing things up a little bit.  This week’s Saturday Stories post is a “story” from us (Clint and Chelsea).

  I don’t know what has gotten into me (Clint) lately, but I’ve really been in a writing mood since returning home from vacation.  That vacation was just what my family and I needed in a lot of different ways, and I suppose one of those ways was resetting my writing motivation.  Sorry you all have to suffer through it.

  Before I get going here, I want to quickly remind readers that they can submit Saturday Stories articles right here.  Every other week we choose one to feature on the LDD blog, and we’ve had a lot of great submissions so far.  We pay you for your article(s), too (up to $50).  So, if you have a domestic discipline related story to tell, we’d love to hear it.  I, personally, would love to hear a story from someone that was brought to the lifestyle by the recent media articles on domestic discipline.  I know you’re out there, and it would be very interesting to hear your story.  That’s just a request of mine, but we’d love to feature anybody’s domestic discipline story if they’re willing to share it.

Anyway, on to my “story.”

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  A little over a year ago, my wife and I started doing maintenance spankings.  From the moment I learned what maintenance spankings were, I wasn’t a fan of them.  I’ve never liked the idea of spanking my wife for what I felt to be no reason.  I understood there were reasons couples did maintenance spankings, but I just never got on board with them.  I didn’t like the idea of spanking my wife when she did nothing wrong to justify it.

  After talking to many couples that practiced domestic discipline, the idea of maintenance spankings started to grow on me.  Just about every couple I talked to about maintenance spankings raved about them, so I was starting to think they must not be so bad.  Given all of this wonderful feedback on maintenance, my wife and I talked about them and ultimately decided that perhaps they were worth looking into.

  So we started doing maintenance spankings.  I felt really uncomfortable doing them from the get go.  I was uncomfortable for the exact reason I thought I would be — I don’t like spanking my wife when she didn’t do anything to warrant it.  It felt like I was spanking just to spank.  For the fun of it.  Just because.

  Well, spanking my wife has never been something I’ve considered to be “fun.”  When a rule in our marriage IS broken by my wife, I don’t like having to spank for it as it is, so doing maintenance spankings just made that feeling worse since, to me, there was absolutely no justification behind it whatsoever.  I just couldn’t get past that.

  Despite my dislike for maintenance spankings from the start, my wife and I agreed to give them a fair shot, so we continued on with them.  In all honesty my wife didn’t seem to have too much of an issue with them, but each time we had a maintenance session it was really awkward for me.  They did seem to help with my wife’s stress levels though, so I was seeing a little value in them even if I didn’t like doing them.

  As the months passed, our maintenance spankings became less and less frequent.  In fact, after about 6 months or so, they became so infrequent that my wife began asking for maintenance whenever she was feeling overwhelmed or overly stressed out.  They weren’t really maintenance spankings anymore.  They sort of evolved into stress relief spankings.

  Now THIS made a lot more sense to me.  In my mind, stress relief spankings serve an actual purpose.  They calm my wife down and give her a “reset” when she wants and needs it.  They’re done at my wife’s request most times as well, which makes me feel better about conducting them.  I understand maintenance spankings serve a purpose for a lot of domestic discipline couples, however for us, they just don’t make any sense.  I, in particular, am really uncomfortable doing them.  Stress relief spankings work so much better for us, and they’re really effective in achieving what my wife wants out of them.  Our maintenance spankings have become stress relief spankings, and that is something that we’re both okay with.

  They say your first instinct is usually the correct one.  I don’t know who “they” are, but “they” are most definitely right in this case.  My first inclination was that maintenance spankings wouldn’t work for us, and my first inclination was right.  They didn’t.  We gave maintenance spankings a fair shot, but in the end we decided to take them out of what we do and replace them with stress relief spankings. 

  In the end I’m glad we gave them a chance.  We did get something out of them after all, we just didn’t get what we were expecting to get.  We learned that maintenance spankings weren’t for us, and we incorporated stress relief spankings into our marriage.  Neither one of those things would have happened had we not given maintenance spankings a try. 

  Even if something doesn’t end up sticking around, it’s always good to try new things every now and again.  You may get something beneficial from it that you never expected.

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  Again, if you’d like to write an article to be featured in the Saturday Stories column, you can learn more about how to do so by clicking here.  We’d love to hear your story and feature it on the LDD blog!

The post Saturday Stories: “Evolution of Maintenance Spankings” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.

We have a Saturday Stories first to share with you this week — a second article from a past Saturday Stories writer!  About a month ago, Meredith from the blog New Twist, After All These Years, shared with us how domestic discipline enhanced her already strong and well-established marriage.  You can read her first post here, and we encourage you to do so.  It’s a very inspiring and heart-warming story.

  Meredith contacted us shortly after her post went up requesting if she could continue on with her story with a second article.  She feels her stories will connect with “older couples” (her words, not ours), and will help to show them that even after many years of happiness in marriage, there are still ways to grow and strengthen the emotional bond between one another.  We think she’s absolutely right, and we’re honored to be sharing another one of her stories with you today.

  We also want to say this since it’s so rare to see — Without trying to embarrass Meredith, she has offered one of the kindest and most sincere gestures anyone has ever offered us in our time as domestic discipline bloggers.  She has one of the biggest hearts in blogland, and that’s saying a lot considering all of the incredible people that contribute to this community.  Thank you, Meredith, for your wonderful gesture.  You know what it was/is, and we can’t express our appreciation enough.  It was such a thoughtful thing to do and we don’t think you understand how much it truly meant to our family.  Thank you so very much.

  If you’d like to write a Saturday Story to be featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about doing so here, or you can email your submission to guestpost@learningdd.com.

  The following article was written entirely by Meredith.  We have not manipulated, edited, or added to her words in any way, shape, form, or fashion.  We did, however, add the links in the appropriate spots (hope you don’t mind, Meredith).

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Hello, LDD Readers,

This is Meredith and I wanted to share how things are going for my husband Jack and me as we make our way in LDD. In early July, I wrote about the discovery of Clint and Chelsea’s blog while on a sun break in April. After sharing what I found, I made a presentation to my husband. The Dd road for us has been bumpy and includes the purchase of a new paddle which my hubby loves……… me, not so much!

I began a blog and invite you to read about our journey as it changes our marriage for the better. I still consider myself very new to blogging. The best thing about my blog is the two new friends I have made. We email one another and rejoice in having found each other. Each of us is practicing ttwd in a different way, but we support one another as we all make our way.

Almost four months into domestic discipline, we are still doing just that, learning! Our way is still evolving. Jack has taken to his role like a duck to water. I am always amazed when he talks to me about all this. He told me this morning that he really believes that men want to take care of things and women need to let them. After so many years of doing this “taking care of things” together, I still have a difficult time letting go. We do not have the worries and heartache of many couples. We have no money worries and have always been faithful to our marriage vows taken long, long ago. Back then, we even removed the word “obey” from our vows preferring to enter marriage as equal partners. Our marriage was strong before we began Dd and we consider it stronger now. Domestic discipline requires communication. We talk and listen more carefully. If we ever renew our vows, the word obey will be said by me!

We have one rule: respect. This is a very easy rule to follow, but I break it often. The breaking of this rule  reminds me of the movie Groundhog’s Day. Over and over again, I break the respect rule and Jack is always there to correct me. He assumes his role with ease and confidence.  Respect is about so many things: the Golden Rule, speaking kindly, calling when running late, knowing when to stop arguing, and on and on. I have a more difficult time blending my submissive world with Jack and my assertive role in the greater world. This is the arena when I have difficulties and Jack has the paddle. We are really trying to work this out, but that usually happens to my backside.

Things are improving, but gradually. I am doing better at home. Speaking kindly, I talk to Jack with a kinder tone. I try to keep from interrupting, but this is still hard for me to do consistently. Submission in the bigger world when we are with friends can be rough. Jack says that I revert back to my sassy self and he doesn’t like it. I am finding my way here and that often means time spent with friends ends with a spanking once we are home. He wants me to be more attentive, more mindful of what I am saying. I do struggle with changing my ways when we are not at home.

I still struggle with his authority. When Jack has decided that a spanking is necessary, I try my hardest to talk him out of it. Second chance, verbal apology, orchestrating what implement is to be used all have been tried unsuccessfully.  This kind of spanking has been done about five times since we began. I am learning to accept his authority in all things, but especially when he decides to spank. My goal is to accept his decision without negotiating. To accept that I have stumbled and not argue are essential to making this work. I need to know when the argument has ended. If I have trouble accepting his decision, my bottom feels it. This is where the road gets bumpy for us at times.

We now incorporate stress relief spankings. We entertain in our home and enjoy big dinner parties. Once the party is in full swing, I do well. Before the guests arrive, I am a barking mess giving orders and mouthing off. Jack has settled me right down and he even rubs my backside as we pass one another while guests are enjoying wine before dinner. The last time we entertained, timing wasn’t  great as guests were arriving as the last spank was given to my backside. I was calm and collected as we welcomed our guests. I wonder why we didn’t do this long ago.

We belong to a golf club and attend social functions. At a cocktail party before dinner one evening, the women were all talking about the flap over the internet articles about domestic discipline and the husbands who spanked wives matter. Mainstream media was having a field day and several of my favorite bloggers closed their blogs as a result. The cocktail party discussion reminded me of Chelsea’s sharing about the domestic discipline discussion with her son’s play group parents. I stood on the fringe listening. All the emotions were there. What wife would allow her husband to spank her? How could that be happening? No wife would let her husband do that. I took a sip of wine and stepped forward. I said many marriages would be strengthened by domestic discipline and some wives are so bossy. They cut the authority of their husbands. Many wives just plain need spanking. All eyes looked at me, and I could not believe what had come out of my mouth. Total silence next! One woman asked if I was one of those wives, and I said that I was available for private conversations on the subject. I turned and walked over to Jack. He put his arm around me and his hand rested on my bottom. Two wives emailed and I said they might want to read a particular blog written by a certain husband and wife. The blog offered insight as to the benefits of domestic discipline. To be honest, I do not see this group of women often, but I was not about to stand for any put-downs on the subject of domestic discipline. I guess age has its privileges. I told them what I thought and felt true to who we are.

The love that we share has always been great, but now it is over the top. We are touching more, search for one another at home throughout the day. Making love involves playful spankings. Aftercare after a spanking is mighty sweet. I cried when the spanking is over. Jack holds me and we talk about the ways to do better. He is steady and consistent and really “taking care of things” as he believed men want to do. I am the one who flounders. I am the one who has the hard time changing from the independent person I was during his military deployments to a more submissive wife now. He is right there to help me!

We have rediscovered the safety of talking in the car. When we were dating, the car was our place for privacy and talking. Jack proposed to me in the car. The car was our safe haven. When Dd entered our lives, the car became important again. We had big discussions about spankings and how this would work while we were on the road. Eyes forward, my hand on his leg, he talked quietly and gently. We asked one another questions, lots of questions. He answered my questions firmly, confidently. I answered his questions shyly and in a hushed voice. Incredible……….. this is my husband of over 30 years. He is saying yes to doing this. Actually I was so excited that he would agree to give this a try. All on the ride to I do not remember where! I just wanted the ride to continue. And it has……….. we are enjoying this ride. Humorously, when I asked him if he wanted to read Dd blogs, he said he did not need instruction on spanking his wife. He knew how to do that quite well.

The best part of domestic discipline is what has happened emotionally between this long time married couple. This new way has made us loving, more loving than ever before. Our marriage is energized. We are touching, hugging, playfully spanking and making more love than ever before. Why? Because my Jack is taking the lead. He is the boss. It feels right and the way it should be. In bed, in the car, after a spanking, in every way! Four months in, we are amazed and quite dumbfounded at the way our marriage has been enriched because my husband is leading. We are not young marrieds. We are old married folk and we are grateful to the Learning Domestic Discipline authors. It has made a difference in our lives in a big way.

I am the happiest I have ever been even with the Dd bumps and the purchase of the new paddle. We are not kids and this is the delicious time of life: early retirement, visiting grandchildren, lots of travel,  golf and no money worries. Our marriage was strong, and now it is even stronger although a little sorer. I will check back in three months to tell you how things are going. Wish us well. I wish you and your spouse the very best as you make your way in domestic discipline.

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  Wow, very brave of you to speak up at your cocktail party, Meredith!  We know it isn’t always easy to stand up for this lifestyle, but it’s so great to hear that you had the courage to do just that.  When you experience and feel all the benefits that you’ve described in your story from living the lifestyle, it’s hard to sit back and let those that may not fully understand it tear it down.  We applaud you for standing up for what you believe in.  It sounds like you and Jack are doing great in the lifestyle, and we couldn’t be happier for you.

Once again, Meredith’s blog is New Twist, After All These Years if you’d like to follow her story.

If you’d like to submit a Saturday Story to be featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about doing so here, or you can submit your article to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We look forward to featuring your work!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

The post Saturday Stories: “We Are Making Our Way…Learning, Happy, and Sometimes a Little Sore” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.

We’ve got a wonderful Saturday Story to share with you this week from a fellow member of the domestic discipline blogging community.  Callie, from the blog About Us, has graciously taken the time to write a post about how domestic discipline began for her and her husband H, and how the various nuances of the lifestyle work in their marriage.  We’re excited to be sharing her story with the LDD readers today.

  For those who may be new to the website, every other Saturday we feature articles written by those living the domestic discipline lifestyle.  It gives others a chance to share their stories, and illustrates how truly unique this lifestyle is to all of us that live it.  We’d love to hear your story as well.  You can read more about the Saturday Stories column here, or you can submit your stories/articles to guestpost@learningdd.com.  

  The following article was written entirely by Callie.  We have not manipulated, edited, or added to her words in any way, shape, form, or fashion.

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  Hi all, for those who don’t know me, I’m Callie and H is my wonderful husband. We’ve been married for 4 years, together for 6. We started our journey into Domestic Discipline almost a year ago.

  Our journey into DD has been similar and different to many of the stories I have read. We all have the hesitation at the start but H took to being an HoH like a duck to water. H and I are both high school teachers. I, like many other wives, found sharing the idea of DD with H extremely difficult. We talk a lot about all sorts of things but this was a bit out of left field, or at least I thought it was. I gave him the info by leaving the iPad open on his pillow one night and falling asleep. He read, thought it was a wonderful idea and took note. After about a 20min discussion the next morning, we started. I didn’t need to explain to H why consistency was important and I hadn’t really read that much about DD other than a few blogs and forums. In the weeks after we started I did a lot of research as did H.

  There are a number of things about DD that come naturally to H and I because of our work.  Although these are mainly things that H does, I understand the reasons behind them and that helps when it comes to accepting rules and consequences.

Tone of Voice:

  H is really good with his tone of voice. I have absolutely no doubt when I’m in trouble. I know the tone. For those who look from the outside you would know the tone, we all heard it while we were at school. It’s not a yell or a raising of the voice, it’s not rude or mean, it’s direct and to the point, and leaves no room for any misunderstanding. Funnily enough, I find this tone rather comforting. I know the meaning behind it, I know H is not being disrespectful and I don’t ever feel like I’m being treated like a child.  I know I’m not a teenager, but I can’t possibly ask H to find another way to use his voice. I’m a teacher too, so I know how impossible it can be to not ‘be a teacher’. It’s like asking a homosexual person to pretend they’re straight. 

The Look:

  We all know this one. All HoHs have them. H had perfected his before we even started DD. There are a number of different ones and they all have a different meaning. H has one for each of these:

‘You seriously didn’t just do that did you?’

‘If this was a cartoon, I’d have steam coming out of my ears’

‘You’re going to regret that’

‘I’d highly advise stopping what you’re doing’

Those looks make my bottom tingle. I know what’s probably coming and he hasn’t had to say anything.

Rules:

  All of our rules fall somewhere under the four Ds. (Disrespect, Disobedience, Dishonest, Dangerous.) There are no rules that exist just for the sake of having rules. Our rules are in place to ensure that we are both happy and safe. The vast majority of them are in place to protect me from harm and stress. Anyone ever been into a school with no rules? No? Didn’t think so.

  I don’t have issues following rules or coping with rule changes. That’s not to say I don’t break rules, I just know when I do break them that it is 100% my fault. I can’t blame someone else. It’s like a student who says they punched a kid because he said something. Yes, there was a contributing factor, but you still threw a punch.  

  We work in environments where boundaries are important. If you’re not consistent, boundaries aren’t known and student behaviour is uncontrollable. I am, sadly, no different. I need to know where I stand and where the boundaries are. Boundaries make me feel safe and rules create boundaries. Boundaries aren’t controllers; they are like protection shields or safety ropes.

Consequences:

  When I break a rule H will almost always look at the ‘why’ before punishing. The punishment needs to fit the ‘crime’. Very often the behaviour is really masking something else that is going on.

  Attention seeking behaviour, such as ‘bratting’, will get me a consequence that is the opposite of attention eg. Bedroom time. Direct disobedience will mean I have a privilege withdrawn. Dangerous behaviour is usually caused by distraction and not focusing on the task at hand, removal of the distraction. Forgetting to do things means lines so I remember. All of these may or may not include a spanking with the obvious exception of dangerous behaviour, which always has a spanking consequence. I know what the consequences for behaviours will be, not just because we’ve discussed these things a lot, but also because I know the thought process that goes into deciding. It’s hard to argue a consequence when logic tells me that it makes sense.

Rewards:

  One thing H is pretty awesome at is rewards. I’m sure his students would agree too. How many maths/science teachers did you ever have that said 80% or more on a test and you get a can of coke, 90% and you get a coke and a hotdog? As much as we would like to think that intrinsic motivation is good, sometimes a bit of extrinsic motivation helps just a little bit. I don’t expect rewards from H, he gives them because he wants to and they help keep me in the right frame of mind. They can be spending an hour with me rather than playing on his computer, going shopping with me for new clothes, a pair of boots I really want or a date night.  

  Anyone who is a teacher will know that when things don’t go according to plan we look as to what caused it. We try and prevent that situation from happening again, we change as many of the contributing factors as possible. This comes so naturally to H that I had to think really hard when writing this post.

  It is wholly my responsibility to change my behaviours but it is nice to have H there to help me. It’s nice to be able to see things in the same way.  I don’t ever feel like a child, he doesn’t ever feel like he’s a ‘teacher’ to me. H is himself, he does things in his way, I understand why he does what he does and it works for us.

Callie

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  We like the teacher/classroom analogy that Callie used throughout her post.  In some ways HoHs do a lot of “teaching” to help their partners see things from a different perspective, or to help them overcome dangerous habits, or other things of that nature.  We feel it’s fair to say that we’re all constantly learning and working towards our own personal goals for both ourselves and our relationships.  Sometimes we all need a little “schooling” to achieve those things.  And, as Callie points out, sometimes all it takes is “the look.”  From the sound of it, her husband H is pretty skilled in that area! 

  Great post, Callie.  You covered a lot of important components to a healthy domestic discipline relationship, and it sounds like you and H have a solid domestic discipline foundation in your marriage, which is wonderful.  We’d love to feature more articles from you in the future if you’d ever like to contribute to the Saturday Stories column again.

Once again, you can follow along on Callie and H’s journey over on her blog, About Us.  We encourage you to do so.

  If you’d like to submit a Saturday Stories article to be featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about doing so here, or you can submit your article to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We look forward to featuring your story!

The post Saturday Stories: “You Can’t Turn A Teacher Off” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.

It’s Saturday Stories time here at Learning Domestic Discipline, which means it’s time to feature another great article from one of our domestic discipline peers.  If you’re new to the blog, every other Saturday we feature domestic discipline related stories written by you, the reader, in an effort to give different perspectives on the lifestyle and to illustrate how truly unique this lifestyle is to all of us that live it.

Several weeks ago, in a Saturday Stories post written by myself (Clint), I made a request to the readers.  I asked if anyone brought to the domestic discipline lifestyle by the recent media articles would be willing to share their story with us (you can read that post here), and I’m so thrilled to say that my request has been answered.

If you’d like your domestic discipline story to be featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about it here, or you can send your article(s) to guestpost@learningdd.com.

The following was written by evmybryan, a member of the LDD Forums.  We have not manipulated, edited, or changed her words in any way, shape, form, or fashion.  Enjoy!

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Many people and groups are upset about the Daily Beast article that was recently written about domestic discipline. I, for one, am not one of those people. If that article had not been written, I don’t think my husband and I would have ever uncovered the domestic discipline lifestyle. The Daily Beast is not something I typically read or get news from, but a page I follow on facebook picked up on the story and posted a link to the article, to let the readers see for themselves how “ridiculous” these people were that spank their wives because of their Christian religion. At least, that is what I got out of the article when I first read it, and saw the comments on the facebook page.

Thankfully though, my curiosity with seeing the title of the article was not satisfied with only the reading the opinionated piece and I proceeded googling the term “Christian Domestic Discipline,” mostly just to see what these people were about and what their reasoning was for believing wives needed to be spanked. After browsing through a few websites dedicated to domestic discipline, I had quite a different opinion of the lifestyle than the author of the Daily Beast article. I spent a few more days researching before I mentioned anything about it to my husband.

I’m sure just like everyone else, when I first brought this idea up to my husband, I was a little afraid of what he might think. To my surprise, he seemed right on board with it from the very first discussion we had! I think that is mostly because, although we have a stable marriage, we have definitely been having some problems that both of us were at a loss of how to cure. We had tried mentoring with a couple and we both had read article after article on improving your marriage, but none of that had really seemed to do the trick. So we were both left with a bitter feeling towards the other, because our marriage just wasn’t quite working out the way we would like it to. So for both of us, when we learned of domestic discipline, it stood out as a fresh way to revitalize our relationship. So far, employing DD in our life has not disappointed.

Our communication and intimacy level is better than it has ever been in the 4 years we have been married. As we found out, no thanks to the Daily Beast article, Domestic Discipline is about so much more than spanking wives, and as a matter of fact that is only a very small part of DD. Domestic Discipline to my husband and I has been a wonderful addition to our life, and we are both so glad we ran across that article!

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  We’re so thankful that evmybryan was courageous enough to share her story.  For all the negativity the media articles deliberately brought to the domestic discipline lifestyle, we knew there were a number of people who saw through the sensationalism and found the articles, and the lifestyle, intriguing.  We’re firm believers that positive things can come out of any experience, and as this Saturday Story illustrates, those media articles impacted this woman’s marriage in a positive way forever.

  There have been several LDD Forum members that have spoken up about how the media articles brought them to the domestic discipline lifestyle.  The media articles were terrible, but in the end, they brought the gift of domestic discipline into the lives and marriages of many, and we’re so happy to see that.

  If you’d like your domestic discipline story to be featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about it here, or you can send your article(s) to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We’re excited to feature your work!

The post Saturday Stories: “Spanking For Jesus? More Like Spanking Is For Me-sus!” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.

Every other Saturday, we feature guest articles written by readers of LDD and/or bloggers from the domestic discipline blogging community.  The Saturday Stories column gives others an opportunity to share their stories and experiences with domestic discipline, and we’re thrilled to be sharing another great article this week.  This one touches on the subject of domestic discipline boot camp.

  Since we have books on the subject of domestic discipline boot camp, we asked the writer of this Saturday Stories entry to include her name and contact information before we agreed to post it live on the LDD blog.  We asked her to do this for two reasons: 1) so others understood that we had no influence on what she chose to write about, and 2) so anyone who may question the validity and/or genuineness of her article could contact her directly to verify it.

  The writer of the article understood why this was/is necessary and agreed to include her contact information.  The following paragraph, and the Saturday Story to follow, was written entirely by Priya.  We have not manipulated, edited, or otherwise changed her words in any way, shape, form, or fashion.  If you’d like to share a story to be featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about doing so here, or you can email your story to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We look forward to featuring your story!

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Hi Guys-

 

I am glad you are considering using this article on your blog.  My purpose in writing it was to offer others an unbiased account of our experience going through the boot camp process.  I know there has been some what of a controversy over it and I admit this did influence my opinion of it for a while.  After sharing it with my HoH, Jason, he felt it was something we should try.  I want to make it clear to others who read this that neither Clint nor Chelsea had anything to do with my choosing this topic to share on,  our experience, or what was included in my article.  I felt it only fair to share our account so that others who chose to go this route may benefit.  I let many unfounded comments about boot camp deter me from sharing it with my husband for quite a while but our experience was so positive that I would hate for others to not at least consider it because of some of the “noise” that has been stirred up about it.  We genuinely appreciate all the hard work you guys have put into the website and towards the online community.  Our marriage has benefited so much and so has our family.

 

Priya

Priya552@gmail.com

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Our boot camp experience.

I wanted to share our boot camp experience in an effort to help those that may be on the fence about it. For a little background, we have been a DD couple for about a year but only practicing it the right way for about 6 months—lol. When I first learned of boot camp, it was through message boards by those who often had heard of it but not actually tried it.  Much of what I read contained negative experiences from what they had heard from others but not actually tried it themselves.  Many of those writing on the subject admitted that they had not even read the book.  I, like others, began to find flaws in the idea of dd boot camp even though I hadn’t read it for myself.  After all, our DD was going ok.  We were utilizing Clint and Chelsea’s website and postings as a guide and found ourselves slowing progressing.  However, as I read more of the “controversy” in blog land on whether or not to do boot camp, I begin to wonder about it.  Some couples felt it was an intense and positive experience–and well who doesn’t want that.  What I didn’t understand was all the negative reviews from those who had not actually tried it. 

About a month ago, we started to experience some bumps in our dd journey. Nothing serious but it seemed that we were stuck but unsure why.  What was working before began to seem less effective for both sides.  I decided to re-visit to boot camp idea even though I had read so many mixed reviews.  After reading the book myself, I came away unsure.  We were what we considered an “experienced” couple and much it of seemed like stuff we were already doing.  I questioned whether or not there would be any value to a couple like us. I shared the book with my HoH and he made the decision that he wanted to try it. Honestly, I wasn’t excited about the idea.  I mean, I didn’t see much difference between what we were doing and what the book said and the idea of extra spankings wasn’t something I was jovial about.  However, as a DD wife I wasn’t left with much choice—boot camp here we come.

We made arrangements for a kid free weekend and discussed the specifics the night before.

After going through this experience I must say I was shocked.  Clint has done a wonderful job in writing guidelines on how to reap the benefits of boot camp while still being able to personalize it to the needs and goals of the individual couple.  I thought we knew everything already as far as what was covered in the book but I was completely wrong.  Going through the exercises we not only found new ways to do things but also reasons why we were struggling with certain things before.  The exercises got the conversation going about not only the questions that Clint provided but also as a spring board into other areas we were struggling with as a couple.  We didn’t follow everything to T due to time constraints and where we are at as a couple but still had a great experience.  Clint reminds couples several times throughout the book that this experience can and should be personalized to fit the couple.

Now a word on the punishments.  I have read many say they do not see why administering punishments as outlined in boot camp is helpful.  I wondered this myself.  However, after completing it, I have a whole new view of the idea.  Going through the process pushes both the submissive and the Hoh but in a positive way.  I saw my Hoh in a whole new light afterwards.  I felt greater respect for him as well as appreciation because of his commitment to go through this process with me. After all, I brought the idea of DD to him. We have moved leaps and bounds since then.  In fact, when I first brought the idea, he said he didn’t think he could ever spank me.  Fast forward a year later and he has no problem with it at all and has become quite a pro—LOL.  The spankings hurt, were intense, and I was glad when they were over.  That being said I got so much out of it and so did he.  Our consistency on both sides has improved.  I feel more submissive (which is a feeling I thoroughly enjoy), and take his authority much more seriously.  After finishing boot camp, we both feel more committed to DD and each other.  I urge all couples considering boot camp to read it for yourself and then decide if it’s something right for your situation.  For us it did wonders.  I honestly cannot say enough about it.  I struggled with insecurity on whether or not my husband was really committed to this or if he was going through the motions for me.  After boot camp, I felt new confidence his commitment to this lifestyle which has brought me great peace of mind.  I hope this helps other couples navigating this unique way of life.

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  We’d like to thank you, Priya, for submitting this article and for having the courage to write about your experience with domestic discipline boot camp.  It appears as though the experience was a success for you two, and we’re so happy to hear that.  Congratulations on all the progress you two have made in domestic discipline!  That’s so exciting!  We’re happy to hear boot camp has helped you both in all the ways it is intended to, and we wish you both many more years of health, happiness, and harmony in both your marriage and your home.

  Once again, if you would like to share your story, we’d love to feature it on the LDD blog!  You can read more about doing so here, or you can email your article(s) to guestpost@learningdd.com.  Thank you!

The post Saturday Stories: “Our Experience With Domestic Discipline Boot Camp” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.

Every other Saturday on Learning Domestic Discipline we feature a story written by an LDD reader and/or domestic discipline blogger.  We’ve had many wonderful submissions so far, and we’re really enjoying reading about all the different experiences of those living the domestic discipline lifestyle.  We hope you are enjoying all of the Saturday Stories as well.

  There was a very unique story submitted to us recently.  Up to this point, all Saturday Stories submitted (and featured on the blog) have been from those in the lifestyle.  This week we’re sharing a story from a woman who is not currently practicing domestic discipline, and her story is a fascinating one if we do say so ourselves.  You’ll see. 

  The following was written entirely by Jill.  We made a few spelling corrections, but her article has not been manipulated, edited, or contextually changed in any way, shape, form, or fashion otherwise.

If you’d like to submit your story to Learning Domestic Discipline, you can read more about doing so here, or you can email your submission to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We look forward to featuring your story!

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My name is Jill. I thought long and hard about whether or not to send in this Saturday Story because I am not a “DD Wife” (as it appears the proper term for it is). I don’t practice domestic discipline in my marriage so I understand that I might not fit in with you all, and that’s okay. However, I opted to write this entry because I wanted to share my story.

I came across domestic discipline after finding out that a great friend of mine, and co-worker, practiced it with her spouse. Needless to say, I was shocked. I should probably let you all know now that my background is in domestic violence counseling/prevention, and social work. Although that’s not what I currently do, that’s what my background is in. I, of all people, was the first to label this as domestic violence. I couldn’t believe (and, to be honest, I have days where I still can’t believe) that her husband punished her at all, but especially with spanking. It sickened me, and I instantly wanted to run to her house and rescue her. Every “this is domestic violence!” bone in my body was hurting for her.

But, a few hours after the shock wore off, I decided to take a step back and research this. My goal for researching it was not to find a way to justify this movement, but more to learn more about why someone would want this. Sure, call me curious. I wanted to see what this movement was all about. So, I began researching. One thing that instantly stuck out to me was how happy everyone seemed which was drastically different from the couples I had encountered during my 8+ years of employment at a domestic violence shelter. There were several other things that stuck out to me almost instantly too such as the fact that women often bring this up to their partners (which was another key difference between domestic violence and this thing everyone was calling domestic discipline), and the fact that the couples who practice this movement seemed genuinely in love- another huge difference.

As I pondered these differences, I took a look at my co-worker and what I knew about her relationship. I tried to forget the fact that I now knew she practiced domestic discipline. I tried to block out the mental images I had of her husband spanking her, or lecturing her, or setting up rules for her. Instead, I tried to just look at their marriage. The way she talked about him, and her face lit up when she boasted about her life. It was no secret she had one of the best marriages, and families, I think I had ever seen. It was also no secret that she seemed so happy. Even through all the stresses of our current job and the projects we’re working on, she is a genuinely happy person.

Over the weeks following my domestic discipline discovery, I couldn’t get it out of my head. I couldn’t help but think “oh my gosh she gets spanked!” whenever we spoke, or just wanting to ask her a million questions, but I couldn’t think of the words to her. Maybe this fascinated me so much because it was so different, and went against everything I was taught or everything I thought I knew about marriage.

I sat down and researched “what is domestic violence” and “the signs of domestic violence”. Sure, I already knew them. I already went through years of school, training, and employment on the issue. But, I wanted to see them again to mentally go through each of them and compare them with my newfound domestic discipline research in an effort for me to move on from this.

As I was sitting down going through countless domestic violence resources it quickly became obvious to me that domestic discipline was nothing like domestic violence. Other than the first word (“domestic”) was the same, the two things couldn’t have been further apart. As someone who has never even practiced domestic discipline, I was able to gather this from personal experience in the domestic violence field, my co-workers stories, and my domestic discipline research.

I went on to talk to several of my old co-workers from the domestic violence shelter I worked in. “What do you think of this??” I asked them and sent a quick email with a few links that were both pro-domestic discipline and anti-domestic discipline. To my surprise, 19 out of the 20 I emailed responded with versions of the statement “not the same thing”. It reaffirmed to me that I was right in my thinking. When you really take the time to put the two things side by side it becomes so apparent.

Weeks went by and I had forgotten all about domestic discipline with the craziness of work, family life, and my kids heading back to school. Then, out of the blue, I had an urge to research it again. Was I still curious? Probably so, but I had no idea why. I researched, and read, some more until I finally decided to talk to my husband about it. Not to try it in our own relationship (trust me, I definitely was not at that point yet) but just to get his opinion. I expected him to balk at it and immediately write it off as another one of my “crazy dinner table conversation topics”. Instead, he read the information I showed him (about what domestic discipline is, and why couples do it) and, after a few moments of silence and thinking, came back with “definitely interesting, but I actually think I know people who do this” which was NOT the answer I was expecting. It opened up an interesting conversation for us, which ended with him and I agreeing to implement some (not the spanking part, as I was not ready for that, and frankly, I don’t think he was either) of the foundations into our marriage.

My transformation took some time (and, is still in the works). Not a transformation into a domestic disciplined wife (yet) but my transformation into a submissive wife who is a lot more open minded, and not so quick to judge. It also has made me look at my co-workers relationship with envy, instead of with a desire to run and rescue her when I found out she practiced this movement.

My advice to those who look at the domestic discipline lifestyle as crazy is to take the time to understand it like I did. I still don’t know why, after all these months, I spent so much time researching, reading, comprehending and slaving over my computer to find every last ounce of good, or bad, domestic discipline information I could. But, what I do know is what it taught me which is, what I think to be, a pretty accurate representation of what domestic discipline really is. I have read lots of domestic discipline blogs, spoke to a few different couples who practiced, practically interrogated my co-worker on the subject (once I got the courage) and read dozens of personal accounts of the good, and the bad, of this and the biggest thing I learned from it is these people are genuinely happy. They’re loved, cared for, and they have significantly better relationships than my friends and family members who have (to my knowledge) never even heard the term domestic discipline and would probably keel over if they did.

A final thought to those reading who are in domestic discipline marriages: at one point, I was so sad for you. The words doormat, abused, and brainwashed all came to my mind at first. But now, after understanding it more, I can say I respect you, and I admire the relationships you have. I still don’t know if it is, or will ever be, for me and my marriage. But, you are some of the strongest, most well-mannered, and happiest women I have ever came across. Thank you for teaching me (whether through talking to me, sharing your story on your blog or in a forum, or simply defending this movement that so many cannot understand) something I never thought I would come around to accept, much less respect.

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  I think there are many of us that can relate to this story in some way.  It’s pretty well documented that we thought this lifestyle was “crazy” when we first heard about it too, just as Jill did.  And, just like Jill, it took several months of research for us to fully understand what living this lifestyle was, and is, all about. 

  There are many who never give this lifestyle a second thought when first hearing about it.  There are many who immediately dismiss it as “crazy” and never take the time to truly understand it.  It’s unfortunate, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.  We’re so glad we didn’t do that, and we’re always thrilled to hear about others, like Jill, who actually took the time to learn what domestic discipline is really all about. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Jill.  Thank you for taking the time to learn why people choose to live this way.  Even if you never end up practicing domestic discipline in your marriage, hopefully you now understand and see why so many of us do.  From your story, it sounds as though you do, and that’s absolutely wonderful.

Again, if you’d like to share your story and have it featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about doing so here, or you can email your story to guestpost@learningdd.com.  Thank you!

© 2013 Learning Domestic Discipline

The post Saturday Stories: “Comparing Domestic Violence and Domestic Discipline” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.

It’s a Saturday Stories week here at Learning Domestic Discipline, and we’ve got a great story to share with you today.  If you’re a newcomer to the blog, every other Saturday we feature articles/stories written by readers and fellow domestic discipline bloggers.  It gives others a chance to express themselves, share their unique stories, and become more involved in the online domestic discipline community.

  This week’s story was written by a woman named Carrie, and it gives a great snapshot of what it really means to live with domestic discipline a part of a relationship.  We hope you enjoy it as much as we do!

  If you’d like to share your domestic discipline story and have it featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about doing so here, or you can submit your article/story to guestpost@learningdd.com.  Thank you!

  The following was written entirely by Carrie.  We have not manipulated, changed, edited, or otherwise altered her words in any way, shape, form, or fashion.

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Before I tell you who I am, let me tell you what I’m not.  I’m not a doormat. I’m not a sexual masochist.  I am not some humble wife sitting in the corner with no voice. These are the misconceptions I see with domestic discipline all the time, which I sometimes find humorous, because most of the people that I have interacted with that practice this lifestyle do not fit this mold either.

I am a DD wife. My husband and I had been dating for around 3 months, when I came home from work in a terrible mood. I was snappy and hateful, and he looked at me and said, “I know you’ve had a bad day, but you are not going to take it out on me.” I rolled my eyes, and told him I didn’t need his input. He told me to watch it, or else. I said “or else what?” He said, “I will turn you over my knee and give you the old-fashioned spanking that you so richly deserve.” “No you won’t.”

I call what happened next the three to three ratio. Three words that will get me over his knee in three seconds.  It was a very brief, but very hard spanking, but it was enough to offend me. He said, while I was still unceremoniously draped over his lap, “You can have a bad day. You can be angry, you can talk about your feelings. What you cannot do is be disrespectful to me.” I started to cry. Not because of my rear end hurting, but because  I realized that he was absolutely right. He had been trying to make it better, and I had been acting like a brat.

From that point on, DD became a part of our relationship. We sat down and came up with expectations for our relationship. He does not control me. We still work together to make decisions together.  I still make decisions on my own. The only thing he expects from me is mutual respect. I am to be respectful when I speak to him, even within our disagreements. He expects me to show respect for myself by staying safe (no texting and driving, speeding,  seat belts, etc.)

My HoH is firm but fair. He is consistent and follows through EVERY time. “Your actions have consequences,” is something  I hear on a regular basis. All it takes is a warning look or word, and I will immediately step back in line. He has pulled behind buildings in parking lots to administer a punishment, so I know there is no getting away with things.

At the end of the day, I feel more loved, more taken care of, and more important than I ever had before. He looks out for my best interest all of the time. It has brought us closer together and forces me to address those petty issues that turn into bigger issues when they go unchecked. At the end of the day, I know I am his and that he has my back.

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  This is a great article that shows what the true meaning of being in a domestic discipline relationship means.  It isn’t about embarrassment, humiliation, shame, sexual agendas, and being treated like a doormat — it’s about finding harmony and peace through communication, trust, protection, support, and love.   Carrie did a wonderful job of making that perfectly clear in her story.

  A big thank you goes out to Carrie for her article!  You did a great job and we appreciate it so much.

Again, if you’d like to submit a story to be featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about it here, or you can send your article/story to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We look forward to featuring your story!

© 2013 Learning Domestic Discipline

The post Saturday Stories: “I’m a DD Wife, Not a Doormat” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.

The Learning Domestic Discipline Saturday Stories column typically features an article written by a reader, or a fellow domestic discipline blogger.  But, on occasion, we like to share some personal stories of our own.  This is one such occasion.  I (Clint) wanted to share a “story” of ours with you all.  Hope you don’t mind.

  If you’re a new visitor to the LDD blog and would like to learn more about the Saturday Stories column, you can read about it here.  We’d love to hear (and share) your story if you’d like to share with us.  You can email your stories to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We look forward to it!

Here’s my story…

  A couple of weeks ago, we wrote a post on the punishment option of requiring the submissive partner to write a report/essay on any given issue.  Well, I have a confession to make — the example we shared in that post was based loosely on our own personal experience(s).  You can read that post right here if you want to refresh your memory.

  Now that it has been almost two and a half weeks since we wrote that post, I wanted to go a little more in depth and share how a similar situation came about in our marriage, how we worked through it, and how effective it has been.  It really is remarkable how effective that punishment has been for us, and I think sharing this story will help a few couples out there.  That’s the goal, anyway.

  Throughout our marriage, I’ve spanked Chelsea for failing to lock the house doors only a few of times.  I would say that 90% of the time she does lock them, which is wonderful.  It’s when she gets in a hurry, or when her mind is on other things that she occasionally forgets to lock them, which is not wonderful.  When that happens, we talk about how important it is to lock them at all times, I spank for it (more intensely with repeat offenses), and we move on like a regular punishment spanking situation.  The issue doesn’t come up for quite a while after I spank, but the problem is that it DOES still happen from time to time.  Naturally it’s quite frustrating for both of us to have to address the same problem more than once, especially one so important.  We both want it corrected for good, and spanking for this particular issue wasn’t giving us the long term results we were looking for.

  A few weeks ago the problem came up again.  Chelsea didn’t lock the house door when she went out to run errands.  I wasn’t sure what to do.  Typically I would lecture/spank for it, but A) evidently spanking isn’t getting the message across, and B) we’re pregnant, so I’d rather not spank.  It’s a serious problem though, and a huge safety risk.  It isn’t like I could just “let it go.”  Chelsea needs to be locking the house doors when she leaves for obvious reasons, and she knows it.

  The problem when this happens is that she isn’t thinking about it.  That’s usually the root of just about every rule that happens to be broken — there’s no thinking about actions (or lack thereof, in this case) ahead of time.  Chelsea has to think about locking the house doors, and how dangerous it is if she doesn’t, before she even grabs her purse and the car keys just before she heads out the door.  How could I get her to think about those things ahead of time?  How could I get her to understand just how dangerous it is to leave the house doors unlocked?  It hit me — I should have her write an essay on this.  I should have her write a report, complete with national and local facts/statistics on home break-ins and theft, to get her thinking about it a little more deeply.  So that’s the punishment I chose to go with this time around.

  I wanted Chelsea to write a two page report, citing national and local statistics, on home break-ins and theft.  I also wanted her to find three local articles pertaining to the issue.  And, even though we live in a very safe area, I wanted her to see that this really does happen nearby. It can happen anywhere.  If that didn’t get her thinking and understanding how important this was, nothing would.

  If any of you know Chelsea, you know that she goes above and beyond what is asked/required of her.  I wanted a two page report…she gave me a four page one.  I wanted three articles…she gave me five.  Her report was an eye-opener, to say the least.  Even to me.  Like most things she does, Chelsea did an outstanding job with her report.  I was very impressed.  We both learned a lot.  Apparently home break-ins and theft is a bigger problem in this country than we both thought.

Just to share and give a little food for thought, here are a couple of paragraphs from her report (I underlined a particularly interesting tidbit):

Every 13 seconds a home is broken into in the United States, according to Safeguard the World statistics. That’s over 2.5 million home intrusions each year. As if that isn’t scary enough, out of those break-ins 1 out of 3 result in some sort of assault on whoever is home at the time. According to the FBI, the most common safety threat American’s face is burglary. And, about 30% of all break-ins occur through unlocked doors, or windows.

These statistics are just some of many I found (through the FBI’s website, or Safeguard the World which is a site that compares different security systems for homeowners) but they’re scary. Below is a list of several news articles (most are from North Carolina, although some are not) which talk more in-depth about break-ins that have happened in the recent days or weeks. Most people think of break-ins as a person coming into your home (or going into your car), taking a few expensive items, and then bailing. However, what the articles below (and millions of others if you search “home break in” or “car break in” on Google News) will show you is that the common thought of “someone just comes in, takes a few things and leaves” is rarely ever the case. Often times, these break-ins are not only devastating to the family but can turn violent very quickly.

She goes on to share the articles and what she learned from them.  She then concluded her report with some personal thoughts on each of the five articles.  There was one paragraph that particularly stood out.

This report, and each of these articles, really got me thinking. In the first article, the thing that immediately stood out was the victim’s son begging the burglars not to kill his mom. If our house were to get broken into and our son saw that it would absolutely terrify him, which is something that I never want. I never want our son to see that. Even if we were not home, I thought about how it would impact him to come home to a house without a TV, computer, iPad, and have it completely ransacked and then deal with his world being interrupted by police statements, crime scene tape, and photographs. I also thought a lot about how if the police were not able to find the person(s) who robbed us, we would constantly live in fear of them coming back. As a parent, this is something I never, ever, want our son to experience.

After more great summaries of her five articles, she finished with this conclusion:

So, in conclusion, I learned a lot. I learned that robberies happen for all different reasons, to all types of people, to steal all sorts of things, and can turn violent. I learned that a lot of the stereotypes I had about both home and car break-ins are not true. This has been eye-opening, to say the least, and honestly, quite scary. As parents, it’s our responsibility to protect our son from ever having to see these things occur. Although we will never be able to 100% prevent it, locking the doors of our home and our car will greatly reduce our risks. To lock the doors take a second or two at most, and if it prevents situations like the above homeowners and car owners were not able to prevent, then it’s a billion percent worth it. Needless to say, our doors will be locked from now on.

And they have been.  Every single time.  We haven’t had this issue since, and for that I’m so grateful.  Our home and our family are now safer, and that is one of the many reasons why we live the domestic discipline lifestyle.  Spanking isn’t always the answer to correcting an issue.  In this particular case, for us, having Chelsea write a report/essay was much more effective than a spanking ever would have been.

That wraps up this week’s Saturday Story!  I hope you enjoyed it, and hopefully you learned something from it as well.

If you’d like to share your domestic discipline story, we’d love to hear it.  You can read more about doing so here, or you can email your story to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We look forward to featuring your story!

The post Saturday Stories: “Spanking Is Not Always The Answer” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.

We’re pleased to share yet another Saturday Story from a woman that has already shared two others with us in the past.  She’s becoming a Saturday Stories regular!  Meredith, from the blog New Twist, After All These Years, is returning for a third time to give us an update on her progress in the domestic discipline lifestyle.  Welcome back Meredith!

  If you’ve missed Meredith’s previous two Saturday Stories, you can find them here:

• First article: “The Sun Break That Changed Our Marriage”
• Second article: “We Are Making Our Way…Learning, Happy, and Sometimes a Little Sore”

  If you’d like to submit your story to be featured on the LDD Saturday Stories column, you can read more about doing so here, or you can simply submit your article to guestpost@learningdd.com.

  The following article was written entirely by Meredith.  We have not manipulated, edited, or added to her words in any way, shape, form, or fashion. 

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We began on this dd/ttwd journey over six months ago. Each month we are more comfortable and each month, we  learn that this lifestyle fits us well. There is peace and harmony in our home. We still have some things to work on, but for the most part, things are going well. The best adjectives to define our marriage is love, peace and respect. Isn’t that the way a marriage should be? We now live in a world where arguments become respectful discussions, and most days are spent in perpetual harmony and happiness. The cost is a few spankings along the way. 

 

Since the last time I wrote a Saturday Story, many things have happened. Our marriage continues to evolve for the better. I have much to share.

 

Jack remains most consistent in all matters concerning domestic discipline. He is the leader in our family. In early October, he wrote a post on my blog. He described spanking me. Yikes!  Actually he described the new way we are living and why it works. 

 

With our work careers behind us, we are enjoying traveling to far away places that we have always dreamed about. We always bring dd/ttwd along with us. Our respect rule is always in place, but thin hotel walls and friends who accompany us make for little spanking privacy. We do a lot of talking while traveling. And that is the point I want to share. After a long day of traveling, we were approaching a town in Europe with no reservations and no place to stop for dinner. We were tired and hungry. It had been a long day of sightseeing. Instead of starting a giant argument with Jack, I took stock of situation and became his navigator. I remained calm and polite. I realized he was driving in a foreign country and doing his best. We sidestepped the argument. Jack commented on my positive attitude and told me how pleased he was with me. We arrived in the new city, found a place to stay and had dinner. Jack told me that before dd/ttwd, we would have had a huge argument. He was pleased that I thought before speaking, helped with map reading and was loving. I was amazed that my attitude remained positive and supportive! 

 

All has not been sunshine and roses. We have hit some big bumps, but are accepting the bumps as part of the journey. My stubbornness has ended in spanking. I know readily the cost of becoming too bossy and grumpy. I find myself checking those emotions.  A few lengthy rounds of silence have ended in spanking. Distancing from Jack assures me a sore backside every time. When we have had disagreement, and I apologize, I know for sure that he will do a role affirmation to reinforce our roles. When discussions are over, and Jack has made his decision, I know to respect his leadership even if I do not like the outcome. Doing that has become easier and a lot less painful! 

 

I have been spanked a few times when I did not think my actions made spanking necessary. Those spankings were difficult. I thought talking would settle the situation. Jack was firm that a spanking would accompany the talk. We were at a stalemate until Jack played the HoH card. He told me he was in charge and he was spanking me. In the end, I did submit. This kind of spanking taught me that he is our leader like nothing else. I did not want the spanking and did not think I deserved it, but I was spanked. 

 

Like all couples involved in this lifestyle, we test new implements. I did blog about it, worried about it and eventually was spanked with it……. his belt. He told me I was ready and I said no. He said to get used to the idea and then it happened. The belt was very different from the paddle. I have a hard time with the paddle. So here we are adding more to our spanking tools. Jack is convinced that the belt is quieter. I would not know about that as I am the one over his knee. Jack is pleased that the belt will travel well. Swell! 

 

I have told a very good friend that I am a spanked wife. She is a good friend that we often travel with and Jack wanted me to tell her. I was very nervous and decided to tell her when we went on a big urban hike. Telling her during a walk seemed to help things go easier. I asked her to let me talk without interruption. I told her about the comments she had made to us. She had commented on how happy we were and how we do lots of touching when we are together. I told her that something new had been introduced into our marriage. This something new has put a stop to arguing and bickering. She asked what it was. I looked at her and said, “I am a spanked wife”. Then I explained and she told me she was glad that we were so happy. She said she needed to do more thinking about what I had said. So far she has not brought up the subject again. She just smiles at me a lot!

 

After writing a blog post about meeting Jack’s belt, I wrote a post. Within three days, the stats on this post numbered 3000 page views. However, there were few comments. All those page views meant people were reading, but few people stepped up to comment. So I wrote another post encouraging the silent readers to contact me. I offered to answer questions and listen to comments. The flood gates opened. No less than 15 people wrote with questions and comments. Many of those who emailed were older and they were interested in starting domestic discipline in their well established marriages. They liked that Jack and I had years of married experience and found dd/ttwd something that gave our relationship continued stability. 

 

Great blog land friendships have happened and that is wonderful. Women always need to have one another to talk to and email is the next best thing. We help one another and offer support. I do not think dd/ttwd would be as successful for us.

 

So what is next for us? Jack wants to write more blog posts, but he knows the blog is first mine. I look forward to meeting some of my blog friends soon. I want to continue to do better at keeping the peace in our home. I want to follow my husband’s leadership. I want the bumps in the road to smooth out, but know that in all probability, the bumps will always be there. I know there will be spankings, but there are now less. Communication is the key to our success. We talk things out and listen to one another. To me, that is the most important part of this lifestyle. 

 

Thank you for reading my story,

Meredith

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  Thank you so much for sharing another great story, Meredith.  Like always, you did a wonderful job and we’re so happy to hear that you and Jack are doing so well.  A trip to Europe sure sounds nice, too!  Congratulations to you both.

  It’s also wonderful to hear that you’re reaching out to others and encouraging them to speak up and interact.  Support from your peers means so much, and we’re thankful for you in doing your part to help make fellow domestic discipline blog readers feel welcome.  You’re doing great things for this lifestyle and its community.  Keep up the good work.

  Once again, if you’d like to continue following along on Meredith’s (and Jack’s) journey, you can find her blog here.

  If you’d like to share your story, we’d love to hear it!  You can read more about doing so here, or you can simply submit your Saturday Stories article to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We’d love to get your story out there!

The post Saturday Stories: “Six Months In, Jack and Meredith Are Doing Well” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.

Thanks to the Thanksgiving holiday (in the United States), it has been nearly a month since the last Saturday Stories post here at Learning Domestic Discipline.  That’s a long time!  We’re excited to get this column back on track with another great story from one of our readers.

If you would like to submit a story to be featured on LDD’s Saturday Stories column, you can read more about doing so here, or you can simply send your article to guestpost@learningdd.com.  We look forward to featuring your story!

The following was written entirely by Claude’s husband.  We have not change, altered, or manipulated their words in any way, shape, form, or fashion.

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About 3 years after we got married I asked her one morning to perform a simple task, but one she hadn’t done before, by the time I got home from a 10 hour day at work.  When I got home I was tired and it wasn’t done and I uncharacteristically became angry.  After a couple of days of silence to cool off I informed her that I was going to spank her.  We got a baby sitter for the night and I took her out to dinner and, over wine, explained what was going to happen.  I took her to a motel where I instructed her to take a shower and then lay down on her stomach on the bed with no clothes on.  I spanked her 25 times with my hand while she cried and I explained that I was going to require her to become more adult and less dependent.

  The spanking had a marvelous effect. We notice in the following days that she was happier and more calm and serene and more willing to act independently. I expected more of her and enforced my expectations with more spankings.

After a few sessions I found that my hand was probably as as sore and red as her butt so I started using a paddle.  The frequency of the spankings varied according to her progress.  Sometimes we’d go months without spanking and sometimes I’d spank her daily for a week or two.  Most of the time the spankings occur with her OTK while I sit on the couch in my office.  If I needed to explain something in detail I’d do it during the spanking and then require her to stand in the corner and contemplate what I had said.

  Now we are comfortably retired and she is still not an adventurer but she has made good progress.  For example, after first refusing to drive several hundred miles to see her sister, a spanking convinced her to do it and she enjoyed it and says she’ll do it again.

  I last spanked Claude about 3 weeks ago, after a hiatus of about a year, when she refused to select a gift from among several that I had chosen for her.  She has a problem accepting our financial success but, after a spanking, we returned to the store and she made a selection and it looks lovely on her.

I don’t know if we would have remained married without DD.  We love each other too much to imagine life apart but DD has certainly helped get us through the rough spots and it still does after 41 years.

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  NOTE: If the formatting of the story is off, we apologize.  It’s an issue on our end.  After fighting with WordPress to fix the issue for longer than we care to admit, we decided to just let it go.  WordPress does that sometimes. *sigh*

It’s amazing to see that even after 41 years, domestic discipline can still help a marriage and thrive in a marriage.  From the sound of things, you’re both doing well and it’s great to hear about all the progress Claude has made.  You must be doing something right!    Congratulations on many successful years of marriage, and domestic discipline.  Thank you for sharing your story.

Once again, if you’d like to write a story for our Saturday Stories column, you can read more about doing so here, or you can send your article(s) to guestpost@learningdd.com.  Thank you!

© 2013 Learning Domestic Discipline

The post Saturday Stories: “Still Going Strong After 41 Years” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline Blog.

In mid-2013 we launched a new feature to the Learning Domestic Discipline Blog- the Saturday Stories feature. The goal was to allow fellow domestic discipline couples (whether that be in the form of readers, other members of blogland, or something different) to share their stories with our readers. Let’s just...
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  We’re excited to get our Saturday Stories column back on track this month after a temporary hiatus, and we’ve got a great story to share with you this time around.  We feel a number of domestic discipline couples will be able to relate to it in a lot of...
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The post Saturday Stories: “A Lesson Learned” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline: The Blog.

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The post Announcement: New Guest Writing Columns Coming to Learning Domestic Discipline {Learning Domestic Discipline’s Birthday Week – Day 6} appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline: The Blog.

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The post Saturday Stories: “Cooperative Domestic Discipline: An Alternative Approach” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline: The Blog.

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The post Saturday Stories: “Never Too Late For Submission in Marriage” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline: The Blog.

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The post An Interview With a Spencer Plan / Cooperative Domestic Discipline Couple appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline: The Blog.

  If you follow this blog closely, you may know this month’s Saturday Story writer quite well.  She has written not one, not two, but THREE Saturday Stories in the past, and we’re thrilled to say Meredith (from the blog “New Twist, After All These Years“) is back for a...
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The post Saturday Stories: “What a Difference a Year Makes” appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline: The Blog.

A few months ago we announced that we were going to be making guest bloggers a permanent feature on Learning Domestic Discipline, following the success of our Saturday Stories feature. These four guest bloggers will be having a weekly column here on the Learning Domestic Discipline blog, posted each Thursday....
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The post Introducing the Learning Domestic Discipline Guest Blogger Team! appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline: The Blog.

Hi, everyone! Last week we posted an introduction to our team of 4 new guest writers who will rotate writing each Thursday here on the Learning Domestic Discipline Blog. Jill is sharing with us her story of how she went from anti-domestic discipline to “hey, maybe this will work after...
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The post Learning Domestic Discipline Guest Post Column – Jill {Week 1} appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline: The Blog.