Three weeks ago we started our guest blogging column, and the response has been great. We’re so glad you guys are enjoying following along on the journey of four different domestic discipline couples! This week we’d love to introduce you to Shawn and Ellie who recently switched from practicing the traditional dynamic into the Spencer Plan/Cooperative Domestic Discipline dynamic. We’re anxious for you to read their story, so let’s get to it.
The following was written by Ellie. We have not changed, edited, or manipulated her post in any way.
[heading style=”1″]How We Started[/heading]
Hi my name is Ellie and from the outside I don’t think anyone would ever guess that my husband (Shawn) and I do domestic discipline, let alone the “Spencer Plan”. I’m a kindergarten teacher by day, an Etsy enthusiast, member of our City Council and our school’s PTA, marathon runner – and my husband Shawn? He owns his own small business (marketing firm) and watches more sports than you probably even knew could exist. In many ways, we’re just your average, everyday couple. Many would be shocked to find out that we follow “The Spencer Plan”, and some days I’m even shocked myself.
4 years ago, almost to this day, I ran into domestic discipline after reading about spanking in one of those erotic novels that should probably be rated X. I googled, stumbled upon domestic discipline a short time later, and was intrigued. Eventually, I mustered up the courage to try to convince Shawn to give it a shot, but he was hesitant. Even though he (finally) agreed to it, it still took him a good 6 months I’d say to warm up to the idea.
But we didn’t start out with the “Spencer Plan” method. We started out with Shawn assuming the HOH role, and me the opposite. It worked. My attitude about certain things really began to change. Shawn and I both really put more of an emphasis on our marriage, our newfound roles and life was good.
About 3 years into it, I started to notice Shawn breaking some the rules that he had set for me. Some were silly, minor things, while others were more major. It got me thinking about the age old question of is this really fair? I found myself often thinking, “I can’t believe he just did that! If I would have done that, I would instantly be punished.” and I found myself thinking those things a lot. While my behavior seemed to be on the up and up, it felt like Shawn had simply forgot that the rules were in place for him as well (although there were no consequences at the time).
Several months later, he came across the “Spencer Plan”, I believe in a Yahoo forum. He brought it up to me, not necessarily saying that we should try it, but moreso letting me know it was an option, and it existed. I immediately brushed it off as crazy and could never imagine myself punishing Shawn, similar to how I’m sure he felt when we first started domestic discipline. But, a few weeks later, my thoughts began to change as I started to see that maybe this would work after all.
So now here we are. It’s only been about 2 months since we made the transition from him being the HOH to us both having a share at it, and it hasn’t been an easy adjustment, that’s for sure. Some would say this the hardest form of domestic discipline, and those people would definitely be right. But, we’re determined to make it work. In upcoming posts, both Shawn and I will share some of our struggles in making this transition, as well as a glimpse into how this works for us. We hope you’ll stick around and follow our journey, and thank you to Clint & Chelsea for giving us this opportunity.
Ellie
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Thanks so much, Ellie! We’re looking forward to reading more about how The Spencer Plan/Cooperative Domestic Discipline is working for you.
Next week our final guest blogger, Rachel, will make her introduction, so stay tuned. And, we’ll see you tomorrow for a new Five Things Friday.
Until then,
The post Learning Domestic Discipline Guest Post Column – Ellie {Week 1} appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline: The Blog.