A couple of months ago, we received a very nice email from a woman who had stumbled on our website. She told a brief version of her story and how she had found LDD. We thought she had a great story that would interest both our current readers and readers that may have just recently found LDD. We returned her email and asked if she would be interested in writing a Saturday Story for the blog.
We were thrilled to hear she was interested and willing to share her story, and we’re excited to be sharing it with you today. The following story was written entirely by Rachel. We have not changed, edited, added to, omitted from, or otherwise manipulated her story in any way, shape, form, or fashion.
If you’d like to share a part of your domestic discipline story on the LDD blog, we’d love to hear it! You can read more about how to do so here, or you can simply submit your story to guestpost@learningdd.com. Thank you!
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Firstly I’d like to say what an honour it is that Clint and Chelsea have invited me to write something for their Saturday Stories section, one that I hope I will do justice.
I’m a late thirty something Brit who up until a few weeks ago had never heard of Domestic Discipline in any way, shape or form. I was aware of the idea of D/s relationships and BDSM and I read all three ’50 shades’ books a couple of years ago but that was pretty much it.
I stumbled on LearningDD purely by accident. Reading a novel, I came across a phrase I didn’t recognize, Googled it and came up with a number of DD blogs and CDD websites. The blogs seemed to have an erotic overtone (possibly due to the nature of the phrase, which I now know is more BDSM than DD) but the CDD websites were something else. I’ll be honest and say that the idea of women being ‘disciplined’ by their husbands horrified me and I found some of the info on the sites a little difficult to read and take in.
I’m in quite a traditional set up. I gave up my teaching job to be at home with our children when our first daughter was born and although all 3 of our girls are at school I now run my online coaching business from home and do most of the house ‘stuff’ whilst my partner of 16 years goes out to work. That said, the ideas, rationale, articles and some of the comments on the CDD websites I found were a little scary. I actually felt physically sick.
Having 2 older sisters who were in abusive relationships when I was younger, I’ve always been very against the idea of men controlling and hitting women, so I guess it hit a bit of a raw nerve. So, I Googled again. ‘Is CDD abusive’.
This time there was a link to the article that Clint and Chelsea were interviewed for in ‘The Daily Beast’. So I clicked. And read. And clicked through to the LearningDD blog.
I’m not sure why; I was intrigued. There was something about this website that drew me in. I read the first article and then clicked on a related one. I was hooked. This website was different; particularly in the respect that it seemed more balanced and represented both sides of the relationship much more fully.
After the first few articles I decided I needed to read the blog in order. To see how it had developed and to learn about this lifestyle, from this couple, obviously in love very deeply and yet practicing and embracing what seemed to me to be an alien concept. In particular, I was fascinated by what made women want to be in a relationship like this and how did it work?
Over the course of 3 days of a long weekend here in England I read the entire blog, oldest post to newest, bar a few of the roundups. I loved the Monday Mailbag and the fact that Clint and Chelsea regularly gave independent answers, giving readers insight from both sides.
I learned that Domestic Discipline was totally consensual when practiced properly and that in many cases it was the woman (submissive) who brought up the idea. I understood that the participants reported huge benefits to their marriages and I understood that it was not anger that motivated men to ‘discipline’ their wives. Unlike domestic violence is was not a vindictive outburst, nor was there systematic undermining of the submissive partner.
Don’t misunderstand; I’m not converted! The DD lifestyle is still not for me or my family. But I understand and feel enlightened and educated on this lifestyle that is different from mine. It is not my place to judge how any other couple conducts their relationship if they are both happy and consenting.
For me, it’s about the accountability and responsibility. I don’t feel that it’s anyone else’s place to modify my behaviour. That’s my choice. If I hurt, upset or anger someone close to me with the way I behave, then I’d hope they’d tell me and in the future I may choose to change that. But it’s up to me.
That said I’m not here to argue with you about your way of life or convert you to my way of thinking, I’m here to say that I’m glad I stumbled on the website. I’m sure it’s hard to ‘come out’ about this lifestyle and there is a lot of fear and prejudice in the world around things we don’t understand, or which isn’t ‘mainstream’ thinking.
The LearningDD website is educational, reasoned and informative. If I ever changed my mind it would be the first place I’d come for my resources and information. I wish Clint and Chelsea and their little ones the best for the future and for everyone who has become a part of their community here, I wish you all well.
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Thank you for sharing your story, Rachel. It was a wonderful story and very well told. You had a lot of nice things to say about our website within it as well, which we really appreciate.
Rachel’s initial email prompted us to ask her to contribute a Saturday Story because we loved the message behind it. Even if she never brings domestic discipline into her own relationship, she now understands what this lifestyle is and why many choose to live it. Her email meant a lot to us, as does her Saturday Story, since it illustrates one of the main goals we’ve set out to accomplish from the beginning — to help people understand what DD is all about.
Thank you for taking the time to look into the lifestyle, Rachel. Speaking personally, it means a lot to us that you’d take the time to fully understand what it’s all about, and we appreciate you not passing judgment on us or those that live it.
Again, if you’d like to write a Saturday Story to be featured on the LDD blog, you can read more about doing so here, or you can email your article to guestpost@learningdd.com. Thanks!
© 2014 Learning Domestic Discipline
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