For the past 4 weeks we’ve been introducing you to a team of guest post columnists, each of whom practice a different element of domestic discipline. You’ve met Jill, Eric, Shawn/Ellie and now we’re looking forward to introducing Rachel to you. Rachel is our fourth and final guest post columnist, and her and her husband are relatively new to the domestic discipline lifestyle. Rachel’s series of guest post columns, beginning with this weeks, are great for beginners to the lifestyle to read as it gives them a first hand look at some of the challenges, triumphs, and adjustments that come with beginning domestic discipline. We hope you enjoy getting to know Rachel!
[heading style=”1″]Try and Try Again[/heading]
My husband has always been a very laid back kind of guy. Even simple things like asking him what he wanted for dinner almost always generated a “I don’t care, whatever you want” response. I don’t want to sit here and talk ill of my husband, but let’s just say he was not much of the take charge type. It was this reason, primarily, that I wondered if domestic discipline could ever work for us.
We met on a blind date five years ago and the connection was almost instant. I loved everything about him, and I still do. But when I came across domestic discipline I knew, almost from the beginning, that it was something I wanted to try. But, I’m a realist, and I also knew that my husband would likely never go for something like that. I was just tired of leading our family, of making all the decisions, and of the dumb fighting over stupid stuff. Even before I had heard of domestic discipline I knew I wanted him to lead our family, to step up and take charge – but he just never did.
I thought long and hard about how to even bring up the idea of domestic discipline to him, but I also thought long and hard about if he were really cut out for something like this. I didn’t want him to agree to it, by some miracle, and then not make any changes, or things just stay the same. So, talking to him about domestic discipline was going to be a much bigger feat than I had once imagined.
The first time I brought it up to him I did so in sort of a casual way, probably because I was just way too nervous. He laughed it off, and didn’t take it seriously. He made a few jokes about it in the days following, but after that it soon became something long forgotten, and we moved on. A few months later, I gave it another go, that time much more seriously, yet a similar response ensued. I was starting to feel discouraged, but I kept going because I knew I wanted Dd bad enough.
Four more times passed and finally, finally I got him to agree to a trial run. It was a short one (only one week) but it was something. During that week, he surprised me. For the first time, I really saw him step up and start to become a leader, and an HOH. I thought to myself something like man, he’s really got this! He really can do it. And, he did.
By the end of that first week I definitely liked the new him, although I admit that having punishments was something that definitely took some adjusting. I thought everything went really well, so I was surprised (and heartbroken) when he said he wasn’t sure about continuing. I asked him why, and he told me it was because he felt that “this was just all too much”. A part of me understood, but the other part of me was just angry, sad, hurt and disappointed.
I didn’t want to keep bringing the issue up, as I thought it would only drive a wedge between us so I tried to let it go and move on, and just remember how happy I was in that week, with my husband in charge and our lives sliding back into place. I don’t think I was ever really able to move on, but I did give it a good try. Finally, one day, about five months ago my husband came to me and surprisingly said that he wanted to give Dd another try. I was floored, shocked, and excited. Really excited.
It’s now been five months since we decided to officially start Dd and things are going great. Well, almost great. We’ve hit a few snags along the way, like the fact that my hubby is often out of town for business. That makes domestic discipline much harder than I expected it would, but we’re working through it.
I’m looking forward to sharing my journey with you all. I hope that it helps to inspire other newbies, as well as gives hope to those who haven’t quite been able to master the art of getting your husband on board.
~Rachel~
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Thanks, Rachel! We’re looking forward to reading more of your story.
Before we sign off, here’s a few Learning Domestic Discipline announcements we want to make you aware of.
- Tomorrow the August LDD Newsletter will be sent out. If you’d like to ensure you get a copy, you can fill out the sign-up form on the right hand side of the blog.
- Due to us being right in the middle of moving, we likely will not have a guest post column (week 2) up next week.
We’re looking forward to getting moved in our house, settled in, and getting back on track. We appreciate your patience.
All the best,
©2014 Learning Domestic Discipline
The post Learning Domestic Discipline Guest Post Column – Rachel {Week 1} appeared first on Learning Domestic Discipline: The Blog.